Today is testing day, who doesn't get nervous when they think about tests?
The very word raises my anxiety level.
I never saw myself being involved in martial arts. Sure, I sat comfortably on the sidelines while I watched my son get better and better, but I had no clear idea of what his journey entailed.
Then, something changed. I realized that growth doesn't happen from the sidelines. We don't evolve by watching others push their limits, we grow by stepping into the challenge ourselves.
So, I made a decision that felt both exhilarating and terrifying: I joined martial arts.
At first, it was beyond uncomfortable. I was an adult beginner, surrounded by students who had years of experience. I struggled with movements that felt unnatural, and there were moments of doubt where I questioned why I had stepped onto the mat in the first place.
I was terrified to practice in front of my fellow students and even my family, but the more I practiced, the more my confidence grew in small ways. With each class, I began to understand something crucial: progress isn't about being the best, it's about showing up, trying, and pushing beyond what you think you are capable of.
Martial arts is about more than just physical training. It teaches lessons in resilience, discipline, confidence and self defense among other things.
When I tested for my yellow belt, I did not automatically advance to the next belt. Instead, I earned my stripe. To me, this felt like a defeat. That I had failed in some way and not pushed myself hard enough and I was angry at myself. I had just practiced day in and day out for two straight weeks to learn a form. I knew it at home, but somehow when I got in front of people, I got inside my head, and if you know me, I wear my emotions on my face! It is obvious when I am nervous.
I would like to say I did not quit when things got hard, but I did just that.
I somehow convinced myself it was just a "break," but I knew deep down it was because I expected so much from myself, and if it was not spot on, I criticized myself worse than anything anyone could ever say to me. As I was driving home with my son after that class he said " you know mom, you need to be ok with this part of your journey because you stepped out in fear, showed up and you taught me that nothing good comes out of staying in your comfort zone."
Wise words from such a young man and I had no response except to think, "damn, the kid is right and he does pay attention when I talk."
Watching my son get his black belt was one of the proudest moments I have ever witnessed. I saw his determination as he was diagnosed at 17 with type 1 diabetes and yet, still stayed true to his goal. I initially thought he did it all with ease, at least, that was the way it looked. In truth, he faced his own fears until he mastered how to enjoy the journey and learn from it all.
Several months later, I returned to martial arts, this time alone as my son is off to college. While it is generally easy for me to write for inspiration and to point of when others are not stepping out in courage, I lacked the confidence to get back in the ring.
Confidence isn't something you wait to feel before taking action, it is something you build through action. Even though my return to martial arts has been brief, I have noticed the shift in the way I feel when I arrive to class. I am excited, teachable and ready to learn how each form we are taught applies.
The more I have trained, the more I believe in my own ability to adapt and improve. I am not just learning kicks and strikes, I am learning how to face challenges head-on in every aspect of my life.
This journey is not about earning a belt or mastering techniques; it is about becoming a stronger version of myself. It is about proving that the person who once sat on the sidelines has the power to step forward, take risks, and grow.
If there’s one thing I hope others take away from my journey, it’s this: Growth happens when you challenge yourself. It happens when you step into the unknown, embrace the struggle, and keep moving forward. You never know how strong you are until you dare to find out.
If you are in the Cadillac, Manistee or Suttons Bay Area of Michigan I highly recommend Ticconis martial arts 🥋
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